FRUSTRATED

REALLY.
at everything.
from the dummy agent to everything else in the world.
dano called me.
asked me to go bk to bcum sales assistant.
1000 per mth
but it's like so dumb to me, in my opinion.
lesser pay, wld have problems meeting pple.
cos the off-days are always from mon-thurs.
but nvm.
i'm starting to hate the world afain
from my family to myself.
cant u respect me by not opening up my letters w/o my permission
WTH.
and its not like i wanted to be born in this family.
i dint want to.
u think i led a happy life?
no, i dint, and i wont.
i want to break away and find a life of my own.
and here i'm telling you
the sentence that parents always tell their kids.
shld have strangled u to death while u were still a baby.
shld have thrown you in a dustbin
shldnt have gave birth to you
let me tell u parents , I'LL TELL YOU STRAIGHT IN YOUR FACE.
I DONT GIVE A HECK TO BE ALIVE IN THIS WORLD
IF I WASNT BORN, I WLDNT HAD TO GO THRU ALL THOSE PAINS, AGONY
YOU WANTED TO KILL ME?
GO AHEAD.,
WHY DINT U DO SO WHEN I WAS YOUNG?
ANYWAY, U'VE STILL GOT A CHANCE
KILL ME NOW, YOU'LL SAVE MORE MONEY, always arguing with me abt $$$ for no reason
just need to use the last sum of $ on me, for my funeral.
you can dont bother to perform rituals if you really want to save on it,
just incinerate my body.
WHY BOTHER TO GIVE BIRTH TO CHILDREN,
WHEN YOU KNOW THAT THEY WONT ENJOY GOOD LIVES?
WHY BOTHER TO DO SO,
WHEN YOU CANT GURANTEE HAPPINESS?
you pple dont know my worries, my fears, what i really need.
such great parents i have huh.
since young, even if i fell down and hurt myself, i wld get scolded.
no hush, concern, whatever
you can act whatever you like outside strangers
deep down in my heart, i know how you pple treat me.
since you pple favour on boys, go ahead.
if i cld, i wld break away.
pay you whatever sum you had used for the past 19 years of my life
fees, food, whatever.
or best still, perhaps i shld just pay bk everything using my life
or maybe, even in their eyes, my life is worth nothing, nothing at all.
just a cheap life.
and yes.
I DEEM MY BIRTH AS A MISTAKE- A TERRIBLE ONE.