festive seasons.

just came bk frm grandma's hse.
felt that new year has been evolving thru the years.
10 years ago, 10 years after--the feeling is totally different.
dont know why, but has been and is still feeling damn damn low these days.
even woke up breaking in cold sweat and tears on new year's eve.
horrible dreams.
then i think of my A lvls results.
some pple asked me if i had the confidence, but i seriously dont know.
i only know my maths has flunked,and i dunno what else i can do.

i never knew how great the impact was.
but i am deeply troubled by what i feel towards this matter
things has been changing, bit by bit.
and when you realise it--it makes a great difference.
i miss the days, 10 years ago.