alone in the rain

walked alone in the rain again.
considering walking at least more than 3 times in the rain in a week,
i hope nothing happens on monday, hopefully.

a post never complete.

awwwwwwww..
end of 3 years, accomplished nth...
but there one i ....
ever since term 3 ended, its......
now and then, still...
maybe after A lvls......
maybe nxt yr results release....
maybe never...
maybe in the first place shldnt have ...
maybe............
maybe.......................
maybe...................................
maybe insects does have a liking for insects.........................
sighs.........
:((

THE LAST CHINESE LANGUAGE CONSULTATION.

as usual, i skipped econs.
but, this time, not on purpose
cos i woke up at 8am.
how in e hell am i supposed to reach there in thirty minutes?!
can, by cab i still can leave at 8 25 am be there on time.
but, I HAVE INSUFFICIENT $$$.
so i just took my own sweet time and went to sch, intending to consult my chi teacher
met into syhirah at the 174 bus stop.
then went outside staffrm agains :)
cos the library is a typical wet market nowadays.
its nicer to study there.
so asked my chinese teacher out, went thru all the papers and 16 essay qns.
and my''ancient text''
finally, at 11 plus , was prepared to go home.
there came a msg that the venue for bis finace lecture has been changed.
was like
HUH.
since when we got lecture.
somemore our dearest home tutor was smiling and waving to me and i dint know a hoot abt it.
so nice la.
he also just knew ytd that we having our paper on MONDAY.
the lecture turned out more like a 'Q&A' session
all thanks to that MONKEY class.
i ever wondered at some pt in the lecture whether they even did study MOB for the past year.
on e contrary, econs was hilarious ytd.
he was obviously trying to drag his time till 4 pm.
and he just learnt sms 3 mths ago.
uponm learning hw to use it, and when he knew that he wld get 10 free sms with 5 mse sent, he started to sent msg to his wife's phone, his daughter, son, and--- HIS HSE PHONE.
the best thing.
what did he send?
'i'm leaving sch'
'at the bus stop'
'gotten into bus'
'40 stops away'
'halfway thru'
'3 stops left'
'gotten down'
'otw walking home'
'on e overhead bridge'
'in e lift'
NOW, the BEST PART.
'i'm home'
the NEXT BEST PART is--
he sends it to his wife, son, daughter and house phone.
OMG,SO SO SO LAME.
and we finally saw his phone ytd.
HE FLASHED IT OUT PROUDLY.
the best part was--it was switched off.
so whats e pt of bringing a phone?
the other episode abt the watch
hw was asking for e time the whole lesson.
so one of e classmates asked:'why dont u wear a watch'
'oh,', he said,'my old watch went flat on its battery'
'then buy a new one'
'no, i dont feel e need to,'
'why?'
'i feel a sense of release when i dont have any watch'
'???'
'hw do u reach sch on time then?'
'oh, i leave my hse at 6 50am, then i take e bus at 7 02 am.when i scam my card when i board e bus, i check e time.when i alight, i check again!!! :))'
'in sch?'
'there are so many clocks all over e place!'
'...'
then we asked him why he dint want to get a new watch
he said its a waste of $$.
'then replace the old one la'
'very troublesome...have to go down to orchard to specially change e battery cos its a special battery'
now , the other BEST PART
'is it a branded watch?'(tats y it needed a special battery?)NO.look below!
'no. in fact, it was given to me by the SAF as a parting gift...'
'which was.....'
'10 years ago...'
'and why u dont want to change e battery when its only in town and a few stops away from your hse, plus we have direct bus outside sch 174 to go straight there'
'i lazy to go down'
then the whole bunch of pple at ctrstage laughed.
there e other episode on the one rm flat.
too lazy to type.


so thats abt all.
THE LAST CHI LANG. CONSULTATION OF E YEAR.
IN LESS THAN 70 HOURS TIME, I'M GONNA TAKE E PAPER :((
pray for me kaes :))
here i am studying while my friend is enjoying herself at JAPAN.

walking in the rain...

the monsoon season is here again, signifying the end of the year:))
although its nice and cooling , its always raining.
has been walking in the rain ever since sunday.
and has been having headache ever since :((
went to sch bright and early today, as usual.
reached at 9 , sat outside staffroom and began to MUG.
MUG.
then chatted for a while, before gg out to eat mac and rushed bk for econs.
after econs went for a short chinese consultation.
exams are coming.
really really soon ...
and it tires me out totally

SWEET SWEET WEDNESDAY

lets see.

ITS A SWEET DAY today, i guess.

went to sch today earlier to study CHINESE.

then was sitting there stoning.

then someone came and said hito me.

was like...who is this?

then realised the person cut the hair, almost cldnt recognise.

then came and said good luck for your a lvls and jia you and hugged and patted me for 3 times!

and countless smiles.

was so warm, while it was cold and raining outside.

then went to staffrm to find teachers for consultation.

got to know that today was their promotion status release(yr ones)

then there was this girl who looked damn sad, at the teacher.

then another female teacher came out.

they started to chat

then i saw the girl's shlders bobbing up and down.

so i was like thinking, she's sobbing.

then the male teacher cldnt see it anymore and went inside e staff rm.

LOLS.

in e end she was crying.

then haad lit lesson.

and came bk :)

shall cont MUGGING~

THIS LOOKS VERY VERY SWEET TOO.

wished i had one :P

bakerzins' macaron xmas tree~~~

AGAIN and AGAIN.

i shall repeat this again,
I'LL ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU FOR THE WHOLE DAY IF YOU DISTURB MY SLEEP.
even a msg in the morning which wakes me up before i shld wld ruin my whole day :(
was sleeping in GP lecture, too tired , head feels so heavy
so dint went for chi, dunno what the hell they gg to do
for the first time in my life, when i was nice enough to accompany someone go makan while i eat vegetarian when i was having a heavy head and swelling nerves plus heavy bag, the person actually can stone at me and tell me sth like below.
'do you know what i've realised?'
'ya, what have you found out abt me after you stare so long at me while u eatyour ice kachang?'
'you look very lonely when u're eating.'
after he said this dumb sentence, i cont' eating and went home to sleep.
and i shall cont to sleep lest' i have no energy for sch tml.

getting pissed off easily nowadays.
easily irritated too.
beware and be understanding.

did i, did i not?

was it right or wrong?
was it making sense of not?
was it ridiculous?
was it accident or concidental
did i, or did i not.
perhaps i did, perhaps not.

an UNEXPECTED day.

i dont understand why i'm always disturbed in my sleep, really.
my bro and sis was shaking my double decker bed like trying to shake a coconut down the coconut tree.


'WAKE UP!!!'

They wld not dare to come up my bed.
cos if u disturb me in my sleep,
i'll bite, throw off bolster, pillow, blanket, and even my 5 beloved stitchs to your face.
then i was like what?
like got earthquake or what!
then they say go get ready to go off to ah ma hse.
was like..faster faster.


it was only 10am.
i was doing my work till 1 am ytd,
and my friend gave me the cable at 12 mdnight ytd!
had to go down secretly to get it.
in the middle of the night.


usually in such events, like my paternal grandparents burfdays,
mother/fathers day, we'll all go for celebration
with all the cnt-count -finish no of cousins and relatives
usually reach my 11 30 or 12pm.
although i wake up at 10am and we need to be there like 12,
there is 100 percent more then sufficient time even if there was a traffic jam like the causeway's one.


WHY?
cos its less than 5 stops away, and takes at most 5-10 mins by bus, 2 min by foot if we walk!
went there,gret this and that..
ate BUFFET again!
then, eat cake, sing song.


then the nice nice commando cousin cum get AAA B cousin who got into NTU sch of biz came and say 'hello'.
i was like ...
my sis nudged me.
and i said 'oh!!! u talking to me arhs?HI!!!'
cld see his diaos face then he asked me how's your preparation coming?
i was liked.
eeeeeeem.okay lols, haha, still got consultations.
then he saide need his help tell him la blahs blahs blahs.
was like thinking to myself
why dint you ask me earlier?then i would have passed my maths likje flying colours.
then came home, uploaded pics and tagged them.
sch as usual tmr, even earlier


and there goes my one day wasted.

attempt to study 8hrs in a day failed
disruption by phone, me bro's PSP,PHONE CALLS.
ONLY FINISHED PRODUCTION AND COST ACCTING.
will up load the pics bylate night or early morning or tml?
cos i'll get the cable by mdnight today.
all depends on hw long the chat is gg to last :)




In my kingdom
I try to build a heaven
In your castle
You begin to raise high walls
Music has once been our bridge
Tear flows in the melody
The image is beyond imagination
Despair spreads in my heart

有些事，一转身就是一辈子

有些人，一直没有机会见

等到有机会了，却又犹豫了

相见不如不见




有些事一直没机会做

等有机会了，却不想做了




有些话埋在心中很久，没机会说

等有机会说的时候，却说不出口了





有些爱一直没机会爱

等有机会了， 已经不爱了





有些人很多机会相见的，却总找借口推脱

想见的时候已经没机会了





有些话很多机会说的 却想着以后再说

要说的时候 已经没机会了





有些事很多机会做 却一天一天推迟

想做的时候却发现没机会了





有些爱给了你很多机会 却不在意没在乎

想重视的时候已经没机会爱了





人生有时候 总是很讽刺

一转身可能就是一世

说好永远的 不知怎么就散了





然后你突然醒悟 感情原来是那么脆弱的

经得起风雨 却经不起平凡



just got this from some video
still waiting for my USB cable.
shall go cont study and mug in e mindwhile :)

when its all down to MUGGING agains.

i cant believe the fact that i only have only 1 week left for my first A lvl paper!!!
and my lit pp on the 10th
GP on 11th!
yes!
my H2 chi lang paper.
on 2nd NOV
the commencement of A lvls 2009
dont have much confidence
and another fact, that is--i just spent 3 hours doing mindmaps for product and promotion
and, facebk is being flooded my pics of grad teat totally.
duhs.
a gd thing is that i need not go sch tml :)
in my current condition, its not really a wise choice to go sch :(

the uneasy, queasy feeling.

OMG.
i feel so queasy, that i have lost all my appetite.
so dint eat anything just now.
and i only feel like puking now :((
maybe its bcos we were eating too much good food ytd?
otw bk home,
syhirah and I were on the bus,
then saw this sec sch girl with brown hair, with the bf.
they were like..
showing their affecton in public?
LOL.
dont understand some pple sometimes,
why wld they want to do so in a public occasion.
still got chi lesson tml :(
lethargic easily these days.
found a nice song.

love paradise

You're always on my mind
All day just all the time
You're everything to me
Brightest star to let me see
You touch me in my dreams
We kiss in every scene
I pray to be with you through rain and shiny days


I'll love you till I die
Deep as sea
Wide as sky
The beauty of our love paints rainbows
Everywhere we go


Need you all my life
You're my hope
You're my pride
In your arms
I find my heaven
In your eyes my sea and sky
May life be our love paradise

GRADUATION/APPRECIATION TEA

ITS OVER.
our graduation tea.
enjoyed it very much
the performance by our teachers
that dramatic video
and the FOOD!!!
and cam whoring with so many pple :)
but it feels so surreal.
that, swish-- 3 years have past us
guess time was too short
now, after the whole event, making me feel so void and empty.
cant even concentrate on my studies.
like what i told tina, due to other unknown factors.

sometimes, even though its only teasing,
i still feel that i'm inferior to others.
and, to the extent that i wonder whats the purpose of an unbeautiful life.

last official day in MI :((

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels


As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever


So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels



As we go on, we remember
all the times we had together
and as our lives change, from whatever
we will still be,friends forever


Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

-Vitamin C (Graduation song)
dedicated to all e pple i know in MI

how time flies...
i remembered the days of being year ones.
seems just like yesterday,
everyone, everything seems so unfamiliar.
and here we are, with less than one day in MI
sighs.
its the last official day in MI.
and not the real day i gg to sch last actually, cause i still gg on fri sat and almost everyday?
rmb those events, those pple, those lame jokes, those hard work
EVERYTHING
is a memory to be treasured
at least, i was happy, and i still am.
MI gave me a feeling close to pri sch, surpassing it.
it pulled me up and out of the dark whirlppool in sec sch
the pple, teachers, sch environment.
all of them.
know sth, if you feel that time flies past fast,
its bcos its all happy times


one of my dearest hamham died.
i love you, always, darling <3
hope you rest in peace in heaven.
i know God will be looking after you.

ne vous souciez pas de lire

nous nous battons presque tous les jours
vous ne permettez-moi étudier en paix
et je pense vraiment que vous rendent la vie
difficile pour moi
Je ne pleure jamais en face de vous
Je cache toujours sous la couverture la nuit,
l'arrêt de mes larmes
Je ne ressens aucun effet dans cette vie
Plus d'une fois, j'ai voulu que je n'étais pas né
parce que je me sens vraiment tiré profit triste
temps, pas heureux.
que ce soit à l'école, l'amour, la famille et parfois des amis.
Je ne me sens seul. d'avoir à réprimer tout, son très dur, très misérable.
Que suis-je censé faire.
Je tiens à lâcher prise et de laisser cet endroit -- un lieu de misère absolue et la tristesse.
J'aurais peut-être tout simplement continuer de verrouillage tous les secrets de mon téléphone. dans mon coeur jusqu'au jour i n'existent plus.

how to spend a saturday

woke up at ard 11 today, called and met min.
then went JP at ard 1 plus,
took pics of bangala
were like staring at us..
but boon lay's bangala is okay one lol.
HAHA.
then went outside jp entrance took their pic.
some pple offered us 100 plus,
some came and ask us to buy coupons.
our reply: oh, i worked before, i need to top up ez link card
then he went away.
then saw tt PMS guy, change hair real fast.
was black last week, brown today.
then went ard jp taking photos.
went dhoby, ate kfc, continue taking photos.
we walked all e way to peace centre area, walked straight down
nvm in my life had i though i was so white,
because it was all blacks there
walked past little india, kallang,serangoon
all the way to farrer park
felt quite lucky.
cos today is deepavali and we're the only 2 girls walking down there, taking pics.
then we were thinking, will they take up their beer bottles gg after us for intruding into their'territory''
the bangala there looks very fierce.
oh, and for the first time, i took pics with bangalaS, in a MRT stn somemore!
quite friendly la.
then went far east, feel like killing myself, cos i cant find anything i like or want for grad tea
the whole event is getting me so irritated.
wasted 2 days of my study time.
it so doesnt make sense for me to go PROM NIGHT.
so, I WONT GO.
so much hassle!
sighs.....
theres still MONICA on tues :(
and i havent study yet!!!
will upload pics soon.
when i have time~




love sought is good, but given unsought is better --shakespear


THANKS,
FAREWELL,
and GOODBYE.

think with your head,act with your heart

humphs.
was so so so unlucky to be caught by my chi lit teacher for consultation this morning
cos i went locker to put some bks, then went down the staff roiom way.
then otw bk to class, saw lit cher standing outside looking for her beloved student, whom she meets almost everyday.
then asked me--u got see him?
i say: i dint.
then she say: u free now?
i said: irp?
then, the nxt thing i knew, i was outside the staffrm for consultation.
all thanks to my dear classmate, i missed 40 mins in my air con home.

then in afternoon, skipped mgt.
cos got essay test, like i said, i'm not one tt will perform better if you let be get used to exams fever
i'll probably be down with a fever if i did.
and so we went to jp for food, ate pizza hut :)
then went bk to sch for night study:)

i did a good deed today!!!
HAHAs.
i was climbing up my stairs, saw this lady carrying 2 big luggages.
i looked at my two thick mgt txtbk, then looked at her.
she looked at me...
then, i asked"u want me to help u?'
she said:ya
and so i took over her luggage with one hand, with my bks on the other.
which floor?
2nd!
my neighbour below mui :))
then she said:thank you thank you..
even until i stepped into my house
then i had to say welcome, its ok, really ok :)
feel so happy!!!

haha, i'm so tempted to skip sch tml
maybe i'll just go to GP then hide in lib for the rest of chi lesson.
HAHA.
theres this very nice blog.
thingsweforget.blogspot.com
do take a look, its interesting :)

waking pple up at 3am is a sin

i shall make this clear first.
making a student who has consultations till late afternoon with a test at 3 am is ridiculous.
it's a sin, an unforgivable sin.
moreover, you ruin my whole entire mood for the whole day, maybe the entire week
and stop looking at me with thoises eyes of yours that seems like i've done sth wrong to you.
i told the truth,
or do you want me to dig out my heart, chut it open, let it tell you
I DINT.
i kept dozing off in class, slept on bus, slept the moment i reached home.
and do you know how much time i've wasted?


todays class were soso
principal talk unveiled a greater horror, which was prom night
tell me, which sch has grad tea outside and prom night in sch hall?
theres' only one--MI.
think they think we very rich larhs hors.
somemore can they like have just one event?
sighs.
the more i look at notes, the more disheartened i get, esp after the fall of my results and seeing others get high score like the gg to the moon.
besides lost, i'm still lost.
and i cant even concentrate now, with so many external and internal forces influencing me.

I LOST MY PENCIL CASE!!!

SOBS.SOBS.SOBS.SOBS
I LOST MY PENCIL CASE AT CENTRESTAGE.
IF ANYONE SEE IT PLS PLS PLS.
I BEG YOU TO RETURN IT TO ME.
theres sth very impt inside.
theres nth valuable that can be sold,
so just give me bk!


speaking of which lately i'm being more prone to tearing.
or shld i say ntears just flowed due to overwhelming emotions
making my eyebags worse and puffy by double.
i dont know why, because of the weather, because of my emotions, because of many reasons altogether.

what lies beneath?

today was a fruitful one.
managed to cover finance and a chi text :)
gonna cont tml

gloss, rougue, blush
eyeliners, mascaras, eyelashes
what lies beneath?

sighs.
HEADACHE.
HEAVY
and grad tea is rritating.
though the only gd point is that i can takee 99 straight there and alight right in front.
i look at my results, look at my notes.
reflect over my past 3 years.
.....................................





there are just some things that were not meant for me to have.

i thought...

got all my papers today.
freaking demoralised.
less than 20 days?
my future?
went tuh find mrs meya after mgt, had consultation with her.
from now on, i'll se her twice a week
hopefully it'll help
maybe jumping to mrs wee class will help too?


i thought i did saw you.
did i?
or probably it was just someone else.

i can see...

i got bk my GP results, was a total tragedy.
only 36 mks.
god, help me.
even if i get 3 straight As for H2s its also useless without GP
and the 3 As are almost like a dream.
anyone, help me........................i'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........................d..drow..nning...in the sea of GP.
that matthew lim still tell me its easy, bluff me one ahs.

WHAT A GRUELLING DAY!

OMG.SCRUMP <3

MY BELOVED STITCH <3

EVIL QUEEN SCRUMP~

SCRUMP--STITCH'S FAV DOLL AND TOY

MID-AUTUMN

ME WITH FRIENDS

The pics on sat :)
too tired today. so just gonna post some pix
was drilled and grilled by teachers, which added more weight to my heart ever.
it feels heavier than ever now!
28 days to determine your life.
after sch went KFC to eat
saw 2 yr 1 guys whom we suspect that they're gays.
pushing each other into kfc.
HAHS.
its chinese day tml
i need to study my gu wen le:)
I BELIEVE!
IT WILL BE A BRAND NEW DAY TML.

i'm too tired, too upset to speak further.
the way you're reacting really turns me off.

reunited on mid-autumn

TOO
HAPPY
TIRED
EXCITED
to post more.
shall post tml :)
promises to post pics tml :))
HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FEST~

when its finally friday!

got my results, but aint gg to talk much abt it cos theres nth to talk abt.
after sch went town, to orchard central :)
its interior design and layout is very unique
theres indoor rock climbing too~
then went cine to find food.
it was amazing tt we stood outside KOUFU for half an hr while the manager of BBQ chicken stared at us.
we were wondering what to eat.
cos we were sick of fast food and the prices were ard the range.
was so tempted to eat suki sushi again :(
i will eat the buffet after A lvls!!!
the chicken was nice.
haha, hot and crispy.
meanwhile tina recognised this waitress that served us?
and she was msging her 3 'boyfriends'(tina, you know yourself...HAHA. don let ur long read my blog ahs..if not ltr u....x.X)
was like so bored while eating, cos i felt so left out with the messaging ard.
so i just concentrated on my chicken
and we went home at ard 4pm.
no, my 'twin' went acc her go eat swensens.
whilei was practically on 174 otw bk to boon lay.
the trip was nice, to sleep

will be out tml to bugis
no attendance needed for lit class.
feel so neglected somehow.
sighs.anyway have to meet maox at one at je.
wont be gg to marina for bowling tml :(
pushed to nxt weds, where i'll be like...stuck in ECONS.
:(
nvm.

after todays chicken eating incident, i think i'll consider getting 'one' after A lvls.
to settle their worries and to add spice to my life?
not that i dont want
but i cant find one that i'm at ease with.
HAHA.
but nonetheless, i'll try.

Tonight I feel close to you...

Tonight I feel close to you

Close my eyes and feel you mind
Time has passed
I walk like a shadow
Never knew what i am going through
You touch my heart and take my breath away

Whisper on the wind so softly
Let the bright stars fill our dreams with love
Reach for your hand(you're holding my key)
And you show me they way

Tonight, I feel close to you
You open my door and light the sky above
When I need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one
I wish we could stay forever as one

All the tears that haunt my past
You promised it'll be better tomorrow
Play that song
You and I listened to
And let it gently ease our pain

Tender rain drops from the blue sky
Flowers blooming, life is so divine
Like sunlight on a stream(you're holding my key)
You show the world to me

Tonight, I feel close to you
You open my door and light the sky above
When i need a friend, you are there right by my side
I wish we could stay as one

So much love in this beautiful world
Search for the brightest star in the sky
You will find the meaning of love
Dont be afraid
Just be yourself
We need this love..i've never knew

i just realised this song was in my phone.
LOLs.
thats my post of the day
another more day, my madness sat is coming!!!!