when i thought it was a great deal...

to carry 17 pkts of bee hoon.
apparently, two days ltr, i was proven to be wrong.
to get 7 pkts of medicine was a greater deal, it seems
freaked out my colleagues.
blahs.
for cough, phlegm, immflamation, fever,sore throat, flu, headache....
arrrghs.
guess that explains for my poor appetite the past 2 days.
from the BBQ to mac breakfast to ytd
no wonder i dint feel like eating anything.

when i booked out of the chalet, alrdy felt cold.
when i reached the train, slept dead.
reached bl, sleep on bus for 5 mins.
reached home, slept for one hr, went to work
then felt real uncomfortable, bought a thermometer.
tadatada.
38.8 degrees.
not too bad,
considered that i cld still get my way to jp alone.
but after tt seriously cldnt make it.
was sleeping in the store rm.
almost the whole day.
thks to my colleague and L
kept coming into the store rm.
felt tt got pple keep touching my forehead, mumuring.
cldnt recognise who they were.
just thankful and grateful tt i have them by my side.
even bought chysanthemum tea for me, fishball noodle.
but sry, cos i dint have much appetite
so i ate 2 fishballs only.( and threw away the rest)
dint know why, but thw fishball looked so..gigiantic.
ever felt how bad cough was.
i've experienced it.
coughing while your throat hurts, even when u swallow your salivia
and when u are coughing till u want to vomit.
but theres bothing to vomit, so u vomit out water.
basket
for the 1st time in my life i have to eat 3 panadols in less than 8 hrs

anyway, thought that those screaming from the cockroaches scares contributed to my ever-changing voice nw
dont call me, just text me for nw.
cos its painful for me to talk.

on the brighter side,
i shall just think that i'm happy that i'm having a fever
1.cos it proves that my body is working--heating up to kill the germs.
2. cos it proves that there are pple who care for me.
3. its proven that mum's the only human being who loves me most.


这世界太复杂
单纯很难
我现在终于明白

earlly in e morning;

splitting headache is seriously nth...
compared to my shoulders..hard stiff and painful.
sobs :'(

pretend you dint see this.

changing.moods
thats what happened to me today.
not that i'm jealous of my friends.
my somehw, i feel inferior- in every aspect.
i've no idea why
plus the news that my friends gt accepted into uni, asked for interviews.
yet me has no news at all!
i rmbed my choice wasnt tt hard to get in, at least i thought so.
or maybe, i was just overestimating myself
whats make you think you can make it to the uni?
i asked myself this afternoon.
thats was when the nightmare exactly started.
even my colleague got stunned
she said i was high one moment, when she turned to me the nxt sec,
i told her i felt like biting humans.
she said i looked like i was gg to cry.
true
i always want to bite pple when i'm sad, then laugh.
haha.
feel so pathetic for myself.
cant even feel sad in front of people
although i really one did bit one once

walking beside her, i thought i was damn......
dont know what to say.
i dont even dare to hold my head up high.
i know, we are friends.
there really isnt any superiority or inferiority btetween friends-supposedly.
be it physically, mentally, IQ, EQ,
in career, in sch, our social circles, families...
i feel totally......
and the things that happened to me these years, only makes me feel even more certain.
i dont know why they did that to me
and seriously, theres no pt in getting to know what was the reason behind it.
cos the pain has been inflicted, it was inflicted, and theres no way to deny that it once hurt.
it makes me think that humans, are superficial creatures.
inner beauty--its total crap.


wonder who's free on thurs.
i wanna watch e taiwan moviee and blk&white ghost(ju-on)
i asked min whether she was free on thurs
she said yes.
then, i asked her shall we go watch movie, the ghost one?
she replied: wow, todays' weather is so nice.
-.-''

sighs.
patience is running out
so is my endurance.
justfeel like shutting my eyes for a long time to get some real peace.

how to differentiate a dream

boo.
i'm currently charged with negative ions :(
pre-PMS i guess.
i just feel more and moree negative as days pass by.
has a weird dream today.
i was damn conscious.



in my dream, u did sth unexpectedly.
to be exact, u asked me sth that i dint know hw to answer.
why dint u think it was you?

HOW WLD I KNOW?
its not like i have supernatural talent to read someone's mind!
and anyway, it just dint seem convincing no matter hw i look at it.
full stop.
anyway, it was just a dream, luckily
if it was in real life,
i've no idea what to do.

shall go work soon.

烟火

tired.
woke up at 8 30, ruahed to amk, took cab down to pasir ris,
then took train all the way bk to boon lay to rush to work.
freaking tired!!! :(
lets hope its worth it.

i cannot take it when my manager treats me so nicely
it's scary and terrifying
when she approved my 3 day leave.
miracle in a miracle.
i even prepared my lines,
like i gonna go OBS or sth.
but no,
she dint ask.
i just said i got some things in sch then she said ok
ahhh.
i'm freaked to the max when she still smile at me w'o asking me anything.
eerie




when i went to book the chalet, then i recognised that place.
exactly 3-4 years ago, i went there before
and right in that very shop, we were sitting tgt in a big table
and i still remembered that , that very thing that he did may seem so insignificant to others,
but, it was more than enough for me.
really.
i think the same scenario will happen again, just that its w/o him in the picture.
cos i think my MC will reach that few days :'(

its like probably...the most sober state i'm in nw
even though i was yawning like mad at work.
i'm pretty sure what it means.
at the bottom line, i'm pretty certain.
hell knows whats going on.
i dont know, cant be bothered to know, dont want to know.
cos, i know theres simply no positive point in knowing
so, perhaps, its time to go outside my garden and get to know new people.



loves this cold rainy weather
so smoothing
and lets me think in such a sober manner, so clearly.
and i wished i had a nice cuppa cocoa
or perhaps, a few glasses of vodka.
i just simply wished; i wasnt so clear-minded.
no, at least not today
has bottled far too much negative feelings inside me.
needs to de-stress.

if time was just an illusion,
then ...

good friday

and i thought,
maybe it'll turn out to be a black friday instead.
for me, at least.
will be changing uniform soon.
slept thru my off-day ytd,thoroughly
like hw a pig does.
FELT BETTER :))
off to work at one :(

'

'Someone you've known for a while will suddenly take a shine to you. Don't back away.This could be The One'
so said some source.
and defining this statement is like..worse than breaking down a GP essay qns.
so, i shall just and see.
to prove the source right or wrong.