ermx.feeling better today.al least better than ytd.heh.but during math and chem.damn irritated ahs.jus feel like dying.during mathsi still cried.if shedding tears isconsidered as cryinganyway.during SSfelt happier.dey were discussing abt'the graduation nightor shld i say after noon.go dere for high tea.i nth better to do if i go.bo liaos.waste money.then we maybe go use tat cashto rent a chaletand play till siao.waahaas.aftersch.went adeline's chi klass.dey writing compo.i helped adeline write.finish entire compo inabt 2o mins.cox i wan leave sch earlier.dun wan to see somebody.jux makes me sad la.so i write fast fast lolxthen janice say my brain fake de.write and think so fast.then mei ting also shocked by my speed.ermx.i've to write fast lols.if not dunno wait for tat adeline wait tillhow long.and.SHE'S THE ONE WHO WANS ME TO ACCOMPANY HER TO LOT ONE NEHS.haahs.then we went lot one.we ate long john silver.adeline was so obsessed with her comic tatshe didn't even discoverjanice keep adding coke to her sprite.right in front of her somemore.we laughed off our head.then she ask.wad happen.u all siao ahx.waaahsshe no feeling de.then we add agains.almost halfof janice coke went to her cup.omg.she still didn't discover it.we laughed till like siao.haha.she finally discovered it when she was going to drink it.woah.so many.wad happen.we there laugh and laughafter tat.wnt pet shopsaw hamsters.1 week old only VERY KAWAII NEHS!!!i'm obessed wif hamsters.i admit.HAAHS.then went to take neoprints.with bilan, adeline and janice.turned out we didn't had enuff time to decorate it.nvm.we wereso blue.due to we putting it super white.then we went home.i went wif janice to jp.reached there at abt 7pm.went to 77th street.hen sports linkshe see her capi see moii walletthen went wallet shop[saw mun yee and lydia.theywere SOAKED.stunned*HEH.then janicesay quickly choose.could't choose one i like.she hab t save $ for presents.hahs.then went home.reach home at abt o7 3o pmthen bathed.did revision.came to blogltr watching tv show.haahs.continue nxt time.-x because of you x-
sadness revolves.
sadness revolves ard moii.dunno wad happened todaycried during maths.kinda felthelpless n mserableemotions swing.dunch noe.dun ask me anything.i dunnoafter sch.went chem remedial.the wait for janicedecided to play wid therain.then become wet.tehn like siao gal liketat.dunno many thingysi was too innocent to think abt the thingx i totbut theyweren't thru.haah.stupid me.went cdac.yifangtoday got tournamentbb ball.then they all win la.pro lolsthen.i say she very bad lathen she say.HAHA.i wasn't in any mood to laugh anywya.couldn't bring moiiself to laughwhen u wan to cry right.feel like my head's breaking.hoipe i'm not sick tml.shldn't have played wid the rain.if i sick better.die le betteror shld i use maii old methods ofcutting wrists with penknife againswhen i was in sec 1 or 2.i didn't regret doing tati regret not cutting deep enuff to kill myself.whycan't i die earler.hais.hope i can die earlier.-x because of you x-
continue frm jux now.just finished watching moii tv show.waahaasnice show lols.suddenly recalled abt tml wanting to go sch or nort.cos i dun wan to present.haiis.i wun present.if i really really hab to present.she can be guranteed tati will give her attitude everyday.from tml onwardsif tats wad she wants.tmr got pe.standing broad jump.maii target = 18o cm.hope can break maii record of 177 cm last yr.this yr sure die de liaohavea feeling .hahasif i tio tat thingy i run 2.4i dun need to try also noe will fail de larx.cos experience before.today suddenly decided to strive my best in F&N and CHINESEi hope to do well.without english.it is impossible to pass.think so.it's cambridge nehs.england.link to english.grammer.blahs and moreso having the content is not enuff.linking the thingx u write and peopleunderstanding it is most important.hahaxhope tat i can make use of maii grammersuccessfullydid a surveyby mr lawerence title.MOTIVATION.then asking lotsa crapx.got one qns.WHAT/WHO IS YOUR MOTIVATION.my answerMY COUSIN WHO IS IN THE SAME KLASS AND ME.AND ALWAYS GETTING TOPAND HIS RESULTS.hais.dunno lehsseems like i've become dumberthan BEFORE.no choice.i stupiid mahs.haisand according to moii horoscope.geminni ish*Changeable, *agile *dexterous *communicative*versatile*restless *lively,*alert, *literary *sociable *intellectual.dunno wad the hell dey sayingsleeeping.-x because of you x-
hating herself
wad the hell did i do today.i dunnowas sleeping thru agains.going to flunk maii mid year agains.haisbut hope chi can get A1.pull up everythingy.during assemblyi was sufferingfrom the heati did cry.due to the heat.coz was very uncomfortable.very sicklike yesterday.very .suffocateddifficult to breathe ahxthen frustrated.the only one thing i cnt standis HEAT!!!so hot..then yesterday so cold.horrible weather.cold then cold lahot and cold for wad the hell.o.O...after schgot chinese orcheatra.wanted to went out to buy bubble tea.then i sit at the gate there.fanning maiiself.so hot!!!then went bk to canteen.went out agains.after drinking.till hot.i must be mad these dayshais.poOr me-T.Tthen in the end went tocom lab dunno lab 1 or 2.anyway.helped tow peng balance her one day dietcarbohydrate too high.then went to do maii menu cardoverall is okay.after tat.finally went for co.cld stay in music roomcoz i in performance for speech dayneed to practicebut.i still cleared the song.the beat.me and joianna keep missing.some slowsome fast.dunno wad to do.in the end still get it right.=)went bk to maii grp at #o2-o4 to slackkhaahs.janice they all trappedbetween classroom blk and water cooler.waahsthen they call mr wong.poor them.=Xthen we went home.at bus stop janice and we all said many lame jokeshaha.then waited for bus 99for 45 mins or 3o mins?damn long lolscramped.reached home at o7 3opm like tat.hais.very late.then bathed and makan-ed.then blogged.hmm.maybe i'll continue at night.hais.tmr still hab phyics remedial.then maybe go 4b de chemistry remidial.c first la.coz after tat still hab to go fer cdac at night7 pm reach hkss for cdachais.so sians.wait till 9pm then tuition finish.waahs.wanna die.i dun wan to present.i hate MRS PEH!!!every time PRESENTATION YOU NOT SIAN I VERY SIANAND TELL US BRING TXBKNEVER TEACHHEAVY U NOEI WUN PRESENT MEANS I WUN'DUN MAKE ME SHOW ATTITUDE TO YOUI RATHER GET BETA THAN PRESENT.OR GETTING OUT OF UR KLASSWASTE OUR TIMEAND I HATE GRP WORKWITH PPLE I NOT VERY CLOSE WITHGET THIS CLEAR!!!i hate myself for who i am=x o8 3opm x=-x because of you x-
I'M SICK
TERRIBLY SICK.
and i dun wan to go to sch tml.depends lah.today almost sleeping all the time.during phyics.i slept thru almost the whole lesson.cosi felt cold.then hot.hot and cold like tat.siao ahx.then when bell rang.maii cher c i still dun wan wake up.HEH.too sleepy lahxeng lesson.tat relief cher do debating with usthen when i talk to him horxhe answer bk'u are debating against me ahx'when i ask him for points.he say 'i join ur grp better ritex.'i said.'i don mind'then in the end i keep calling him to maii grp.probed abt his age.he graduatedfrm hkss.with a L1R4 of 8.andL1R5 of 13.omg.if i was half as good as him.jux now went to aiting home.grill stingray.checked out different chilliin the end.sch and hse mixed de is damn nice.next week having my f&n o level practical.tues.8 - 11 am pon all lessons.then 1 3o -2 3opm.we going to canteen eatour dishes there.and evaluate.hahaxtwo tables specially for us.nice hors.but cooking is headache lols.must memorise time planforget then die.haistml got assembly.sians liaosomore still got POA remidial.biang ehxkill cher la.i hate poa.cos tats the only subj i worst atfollowed by maths.all linkin with numbers.i sure die.haissS-i'm so hopeless.helpless.'dunno wad to do la.hope life ends soon.no misery.no pain.no nothing.no everything.no tears.no joy.no sadness.no feelings at all.i wish i was void of feelings.heH-x because of you x-
today had speech day rehearsal.until six.lolsdun wan to perform laso tired.make me chiong home and cum bkhais.so tiring. started feeling depressed.due to sth la.hopeless like the song tian hui.maii sky will neber be qing tian again.due to tat stupiid him.hais.tat gal who want to beat me.sec one.and fat too.i tell maii frenx dun need fight.just fight at stairs.kick her down.and roll off.K.Othen the result will bei win!haha.anyway.maii fren.scolded the wrong pple.then a gal kanna scolded.then the gal who want beat me say sorry to me.say was jk.so CB.wan to beat then beat labeat till i die better.dun wish to live in this worldonly sadness revolves ard me.kill me straight and cleanlet me diecomfortably.-x because of you x-
BORED.BORED.BORED.STILL DAMN BORED.currently makan-ing nowmorning.9.3o like tat.went jp.buy dunno wad.cake.meat.eggsthen went homecox no shop tuh shoplistened to tian hui.the MV very nicee.haha.touching.blogging ltr part of the day.,at nightxhahax-x because of you x-
DAMN ITDAMN ITi sprained maii handat the wrist.then si bei pain lormaii left handand worst of all.i hab rehearsal on monwad to do.ltr cnt play then i dienow like BAI CIU like tatcan anyone pls kindly leave a tag if u noe how to let maii hand get better.thankx-x because of you x-
hais.just came back.yappsso tiredwasn't late meeting adelineshe was lateresulting in mii getting off tat 187.haisreached bukit batokwent to collect the cans.maii name was signed by simonwhich happens to hab the totally same name as me.except there is an extra simon in front.then the personhad to rewrite maii namehow could he sigh maii namewhen he didn't see a simon.question mark was on maii headmoii fens all say he dunno do wad.wan to become gal ahxhaha...went to bishan.no pplethen i suggested went to orchardsomerset to be exact.i just stood at the mrt entrance.and pple auto came.wakakaka.then i got the most.but i think i only hab abt 13 dollars or above.better than nthwent cineleisure ate LJS.then heeren.went bk to bukit batok.lols
erm~i also dunno when or where it was takenmi and wm at bus-these 2 pics
ok.it's a VERY GOOD thing i'm feeling normal agains-heh.later still need to go flag day.must go maii sch bus stop dere change 187 to go to adeline hsede bus stop.meeting her at 11.3oyawnx-now ish 1o am only sia.so sians at homei going out at 1o.45reach sch hus stop at abt.11 oo to 11 3o?then i sure die.lols-must go bukit batok somemore.there is damn boring lolsi rather go TOWN.SO LONG NEVER GO LE.anyway.wearing pe shirt.still hab to wear sch u somemore.and.ytd.the minister of education?yapps.came to maii schhis car is mercedes de worxwhen we went out of schhe was going off toohis carno is 1783i think.forget the last alphabet.haisthen janicer saythe most expensive caris mercedes in s'porei said jaguarshe say jaguar no use debuy mercedes then change window to bullet proof all tat.only need 4ooo++ nia.i was dere.OIIIC.but i didn't noe wad she was toking.just wan to leave hksS earlier.end all misery.hehs.leaving hksSi wun de sad.but i wILLCOS I'MLEAVING MAII FRENS.AND THOSE PPLE WHO GAVE ME DEEP IMPRESSIONS.LIKE TOSE WHO DI SIAO-ED ME.i'll remember them anyway.who noes if i'll ever meet them again in rest of maii life!!!!!!haha.YEAHS-wang min finally send me bk the pic liaos.after i cut maii hair.anyway.
maii god....WHO CAN SAVE ME FROM THIS FEELINGdamn MISERABLEand UNBEARABLE..dunno wad to do tuh maiiself nowcan anyone teach me.i'mCONFUSED totally-having mood swing.i dunno wad it is laJUST KEEP FEELING DAMN DOWN AND LOWhaisso sians.today went jp.ate kfc.then went arcade.then adeline bought a jacket fer miepinK one.i like it very much.then went pet shopthe hamsterx are soo CUTEirresistable sia.maii lips bled.todaydidn't discover itmaii frenx told me.dunno la.mixed upin no mood.just went to go to the seaside and shout out loud.so farTATS THE ONLY WAY FOR ME EVERYTIME!!!-x because of you x-
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!got teacher call meand i dunno who's the teacherdie le.WORST IF IS F&N CHER.I SURE MATI DE...hais-at sch today.TIRINGafter sch.got physics remedial.anyway.i didn't gocoz got chinese oralthen reading no problemCONVERSATIONwas disasterous.I WANNA IMPROVE ON IT!TO ACHIEVE MAII CHINESE O LEVELA1..THEN ORAL TILL 2 HRS LIKE TAT coz talking with maii cher mahxthen after tat wait for shi yun n janicehais--went for cdac.no busreached there saw some pple frm maii sch.STUNNEDcox so late still got pplehahax.it was already 7.4o?during cdac.i got the photos.from yifang class photo pri.6 de bahx.then laugh till siaoMUSCLE ACHESSAVE ME.during pe todaywe did sit n reach.i only got 32.to think i used to hab 47 cm.tat was maii recordstanding broad jump.during demo.i jumped 18o cm.HAPPY!!!reached maii targetwakakakakaxnow.stomach.back.hand.leg all pain painhais.dun wan go sch le latml got go jp.meeting them at 3pm at 187 boothmaii senior treating us to pizza hut.wahhaso happy.3 tears shed?dunnowan to forget EVERYTHINGY--x because of you x-
it seems like i am going to be busyESPECIALLY IN APRIL...GOT MAII EXAM.SPORTS DAYSPEECH DAYALL BLAH BLAH BLAHX!how am i going to cope with it huhxi dunno larhx.but april 4f&n o level practical examO LEVEL lehs!!so stressedbut.can pon all lessons frm8 to 11amtatmeans after i ccok then i go recesswakkakaon next mon.got speech day full dress rehearsal.yapps2.30 after schthen we can 1.3o leave class.cos it starts at 2.3opmhaaahs.so sians.many thingx tuh do ahx-have tried to forgeti almost succeedsomewhere there le.yaahsand must WORK HARD=)-x because of you x-
today is so HOT!!!cos i was cooking grilled stingray.wakakakx.and it tasted nicE..finished it during recess by all mai frenx.lols.some pple are so bo liao to misuse blogand tagboard.they still young .nebermind dehahas-today was busy.when i came tuh schstraight away went to f&n rmcox got practicalthen gonna get all maii equipmentthen.we cooked this and tat.i cooked foUR dishes.in 1hr and 3o-45 minx.think so.thiunk can pass maii o level practical bahxhope so lolsanD it SEEMS like i have forgotten himas stated tat i only had last week to forget all those stupiid thingx.nvmhaix.later goin to cdacAGAINSgo bk to stupid hKss.hopelesSs-maybe go maii sch dere de ccfind maii seniorhmm.goin to nap a while-before i go to sch.peace plS--x because of you x-
fine.if tats wad tat person thinkxi did not do anytin lolshe think i so free tuh do all tat izzit?go die better larhx!in a damn bad mood todayi'm alone at home.right now at this momentsis has gone fer concertparents and younger bro went to moviesafternoon.went wm hse.watch her download songx.tot it was already illegal?she still did it anywaywatching tv.nth to do mahslooking forward to sch reopens.seems tat sth will happencher's going to scold mehaven do maii assignments yethab been slackking the whole week-so shuangxhaahaxx-i wonder if the saying tat when too much TEARS hab been shed.there'll be no more tears.no matter how SAD you are-if onyl this was truE!now.i think it's not the right time to say anything anymore.since nth will be trust nor heardor if i go on typing this posti'll offend tat someone.and i dunch wan tat tuh happenblogging when i hab a better moOdx?life's in a mesS...o.Owished i was deadthen i wun noe any of his thingyx-x because of you x-
wo zhen de shou bu liao lehao fun ahxhmm.went wangmin hse' againxalmost all the time this few daes i spent in her hse'still watching the serial showniceeand touchingi lub xiao xuetoday was darn boring lolxwangmin and hai yan go je swimming complexcouldn't contact hera pretty good thingy tooif not who noes whu i will meet if i go there.but wang min told me she met kun biao.becuming more shuai lerxcnt imagine i sat with him during p4.the guy whu taught me hw to draw doraemon.long time nvr c him lebut i remembermaii p6 klassnoe the gals and guys all bcumchio and shuai ledidn't realise tat when i was still in p6.how i wish i could go back.to those happy timeswhen our whole klass was goodat playing captain ball-anyway.i'm giving maiiself one last week to forget himang concentrate on maii studies.-x because of you x-
hais...yesterday.went ice skating.lots of kids there banging in all directionxalmost fellbut didn't.lols.now.maii leglike swollen.due to the shoeshaixbai ka liao la.not very serious.but nerves and ankle feel likebeing srained?dunno lehsnot sureabout todayhad to wake up at 6.45am.just to go fermoii chemistry remidalguai horxi never latetook bus 99 at 7.2o like tat.reached dere almost on the dot (=during chemistry lessonx.almost faintedi mean i almost fainted.cox i didn't eat brekfast and think maii sugar level in blood quite lowresulting in me almost fainting.then mdm tay gave us biscuits to munch onso good.and also hab the chocolate.i gort two.cos she say i giddy then gib me wan more..hahasafter that.i pon maii physics klassby walking the other corridorthen went to maii fren de hse to sleep.lolscannot go home.then at wang min hse.continued watching.then do this and tat.then went back home.went fer cdac.at cdac.yifang was telling me abtmaii sch de boyxfrm her pri schthen i told her some thingytat she laughed off her head.times fly really fastalready thinkin of how i'm going to die in maii o levelshow nehxlet nature take its course lolx-we all got no choice wad.haiswad a sad world it is tuh be in!-x because of you x-
ermx~today i didn't wanted to stay at home.anyway.went to wang min's hseslackked there.used her laptop watched qian nu you hunnice and kinda touching.one big good newsi'm going to ice skate at jurong east entertainment there.frm 1o am to 5-6 pmya.very long ritexneed to bring maii jacket tmlshiyun and candice going to.they decidedto pon mdm tay de remedialcox they rather do at homethink also got many pple go bahxthe guyx.lolxwatching the new tv show noi really look forward tuh tomorrowhope more pple can go.then have lots of fun.hahax (:-x because of you x-
today.spend almost the whole dae at schl.hais so sianx`Doing F&N at schfrm 1o am to 3 pmwho can stand itand i'm facing the comn almost 9/1o of the timebut for the sake of maii f&n o level results.i shall do moii bestgonna waste lots of paperanyway.there's only two subject i can depend on to get A.which is chineSe and f&n.when i was at bus stop waiting for bilan and ai tingsome stupiid pple do sth stupidopp the roadstaring at the air.was there wondering if i noe the guy.looked kinda familiarthen when we was walking into the sch gatesaw the a class de add.math pupils.like all go outing like tatdey were having a break-so good..after we do till very long.chio bu camedidn't wan to open the doorin the end i stilll openthen pple cum he didn't wan to open fer them.so when he wanted to cum him.we stalled him fer a whileb4 letting him inwhen he went to find cherwe went to his comand typedwe are goin to mac and eat.hab a good time doing~buHbyEs...jux to suan him.lols.and we went to mac to eat our lunchat 3.30pmmore like snack ritexanyway.stayed there till almost 4.3opmsaw they play ball.got one guy throw the ball.out of ten times.i think he can only get the ball in fornort more than 2 times.haisthe ball touch the brim fer the other 8 timexthen took bus homeand ltr need to go to sch again.fer maii cdac.going ask maii yuhua lao shi~yifang teach me do mathxshe pro mahx-maii personal tutor.lolxafter cdac then continue-x because of you x-
hmm.didn't blogged yesterdaycos i was sickhad cough, sore throat, cold, blocked noseand a slight fever.and this is wad happens after i am soaked in a sunshine rain(tai yang yu)stupid rightshld hab brought maii umbrella-anyway went to expobought a storybookgoing there againto buy morethen went westmallwent to zinc.could't find bag we likedi still think the bags at cineleisure there are nicer.then went home.and slept.found out i had a slight feverhaixwondering how i'm gonna die in maii o levelxyapps.dyinghave to study veri hard nehxhais~bothered in maii heart.dunno wad to do.think more sad moreso forget about it lolx-x because of you x-